Saturday, March 12, 2005
Traveling......
a lot of things happen to me lately. Its as if I am in a dazed. I don't know where to go. I wanted to escape from this feeling I have. I wanted to get rid of it but I can't maybe because I am stuck here realizing that I am still holding on to something I could get back but its too late because I know I can't..... It hard to accept the fact that I haven't done anything to make it stay or cherished for so long, value it as I value myself. I just let it go....
I am a coward!!!!! Its hard to accept the fact that I am, and its hard to admit that I've loosed big time because of my own fault how I wish someone have done that stupid mistake so that I could have blame not myself but others... I've been running from it for so long... I am getting really tired of what is happening to me... I want this to end... Its hard to let go because I fear that I won't be able to grasp it again that's why I kept on running afraid that reality would bite me. I am afraid to face the fact that its all gone now and to realize the hard truth that it is I who had done that stupid mistake and had changed my life forever... It changed me in a way I couldn't imagine it would... I wanted to escape from this misery that's why an idea came up in my mind, I wanted to travel to help me forget a lot of things.., traveling alone to the path where nobody wants to travel but myself... Along that journey I met a lot of different people with different stories to tell and I was lucky that they have shared it with me,, stories that have made a big difference in my life why? Because I thought I was the only one who had a story but I'm not alone some of them have that much to tell far greater than mine... They didn't know that what they had shared with me had made an impact on my being and because of that I thank them, they have helped me a lot... And from that travel I made I came to the closure that,,, we could have what we want if we put our minds and hearts into it, listen to your heart for what it says because sometimes others couldn't tell what is right or wrong for you, it is you who can tell that and most of all take that risk, risks could sometimes be a learning experience to us and it is fine to commit a mistake because from that we could learn a lot and not kept on wondering and have what-ifs for the rest of our life..... Now I could say that I am ready to go back...
